Beggars: What we should all give.
Posted by Timothy Wong on 27 September, 2006
Despite seeing beggars / drunks / homeless people / druggies on every corner of most ‘lower-class’ places in Hong Kong, I’m surprised to say I haven’t seen a single in the streets of England. Call me a beggar too, but I don’t think I’ve ever donated a cent / dollar / chip / knife to one of these chaps; nope, not even when with a girl I’m trying to impress.
Regardless, if one feels they must donate, they should not donate money but instead:
Cigarettes. Ease their pain a little, with a nice stick of nicotine.
A bottle of Tequila. Again, being homeless is hard. Get your fellow homeless man a bottle of Tequila, have a shot with him and enjoy the sun. If you give him / her money, they’re going to ask for more so that they can take a bus to the nearest liquor store. And because you just spent your last bit of change buying Tequila, you won’t have any spare for his / her bus ride. And you don’t want to have an argument with a highly-regarded homeless man / woman (with a knife)
A knife. Homeless people always get robbed. They have a big hat full of coins, and are usually too weak to defend themselves. Thus they become an easy target. Give them a knife, and they can just about fend off attackers without making as much noise as guns.
KFC. KFC solves everything. What came first? The chicken or the egg? The Colonel did and made KFC. Give the homeless person a bucket of fresh juicy KFC, and the world is your Oyster.
A Blackberry with a one year subscription. We’re all about that business. What makes a homeless man any different? He’s out on the streets doing his business too and making money like everyone else. Give him a Blackberry and help ease his business-related stress a little.
Condoms (homeless males only). It’s time to all help in preventing the spread of HIV. Give your homeless friend a pack of condoms. Teach them how to use it too; they’re probably homeless because they never managed to get a proper education, and so probably don’t know how to use a condom.
Maybe I should start carrying a bag with it all the above when going out and trying to impress a girl on our first date.
HAHA the first picture is funny. Anyway you mo liu. If you give him/her a knife he’ll just put it across your neck and say ‘gimme your CHEEEEEEN’
LOL That was hilarious.
Clinton
good comments
the first photo rawks
happy to see you making new friends and having fun in England …!