A Palestinian woman was caught trying to smuggle three crocodiles from Egypt into the Gaza Strip via Rafah Border Crossing, it was revealed Sunday.

Maria Telleria, spokeswoman for EU BAM, which monitors the border as part of an agreement between the Palestinian Authority and Israel, said that the smuggler tried to cross Thursday into Gaza with the three crocodiles taped to her upper body.

A Palestinian guard noticed the woman was oddly obese and became suspicious. He notified the monitors, and the reptiles were discovered on further inspection.

The crocodiles measured 40 to 50 centimetres in length. They were returned to Egypt, and the woman was questioned by Palestinian security officials.

She related that she wanted to sell the reptiles to a local zoo.

“What’s that taped to your body?”
“Oh! This is Wilfred and that’s Harry.”

Elton John should be banned from performing at a jazz festival in Tobago because his homosexuality could influence young people, some Christian leaders on the Caribbean island said on Monday.

A group of Christian churches have failed to persuade the Tobago House of Assembly, which oversees the administration of the island, to join the call for a boycott of John’s appearance at the Plymouth Jazz Festival in late April.

But they said they would pursue the campaign against John, who married his partner David Furnish in 2005.

“We feel it can have a negative social impact. There are some who may not be sure of their sexuality and one has to be careful about how this can create impressions on impressionable minds,” pastor Terrance Baynes told Reuters on Monday.

The singer celebrated his 60th birthday at Madison Square Garden in New York on Sunday, playing more than 30 songs from a career spanning four decades.

Jazz festival organizer CL Communications dismissed calls for a boycott and said the show would go on.

“Elton John is coming as what he is, one of the world’s greatest performers,” said Anthony Maharaj, adding that the country should be honored to have John perform in Tobago, the smaller island of energy-rich Trinidad.

“His band has performed in every country around the world. …. He is not coming here to preach about what lifestyle people should have,” he said.

It looked for all the world as if the couple on a date — he was darkly handsome and a little older than the pretty, petite blonde with the Russian accent — were having a great time together.

“A really great time,” their waitress, Karri Cormican, recalled thinking. “She was facing him, had one of her legs up on the bench seat.” Good body language.

So it came as a shock when after the woman left the window-side table to visit the restroom, Cormican saw the man shake a white powder into the Hefeweizen beer he had ordered for his date.

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What’s wrong with this guy? She was so comfortable with him she probably would have slept with him anyway…

The second annual National Technology Scan conducted by Park Associates, a Dallas-based technology market research firm, have found that 29% of U.S. households (31 million homes) do not have Internet access and do not intend to subscribe to an Internet service over the next 12 months. The survey noted that 44% of these households say they are not interested in anything on the Internet, 22% say they cannot afford a computer or the cost of Internet service, 17% say they are not sure how to use it, 14% say using it at work meets their need and 3% said the Internet doesn’t reach their homes. The study also found U.S. broadband adoption grew to 52% over 2006, up from 42% in 2005. Roughly half of new subscribers converted from slower-speed, dial-up Internet access while the other half of households had no prior access.

A Brazilian housewife was convicted and sentenced to 19 years in prison Friday for killing her husband, chopping his body into small pieces and frying it. Rosanita Nery dos Santos, 52, drugged her husband in his sleep, then stabbed him to death two years ago in Salvador, about 900 miles northeast of Sao Paulo, said police spokesman Idmar Bonfim.

She then hacked Jose Raimundo Soares dos Santos’ body into more than 100 pieces, which she boiled and fried before hiding in plastic bags beneath a staircase in her house, Bonfim said. He said police discovered the body parts after receiving an anonymous phone call.

Bonfim said the killing was either part of a black magic ritual or an attempt by the wife to collect life insurance worth about $34,000.

Citing testimony from the woman’s relatives, he said she may also have committed the crime “to avenge many years of humiliation from her husband.” He did not provide further details.

Santos denied killing her husband but said she chopped up his body, Bonfim said.

“She claims masked assailants entered her house, killed her husband and then forced her to cut up the body and fry it because that would prevent the stench of a decomposing body from alerting neighbors,” he said.

She obviously wasn’t very discreet about it if someone knew and tipped the cops off. Anyone know if she used a non-stick pan?

Determined to have the “world’s largest” everything by 2010, China recently unveiled the “world’s largest” bus, the Youth Daily reported earlier this week. The Chinese manufacturer, named Zhejiang Young Man Vehicle Group, introduced the 25-meter-long “Superliner” at Shanghai’s Busworld Asia 2007 convention. The bus has five doors, 40 seats, carries up to 300 passengers and, according to a driver, “is flexible when cornering.”

Two Atlanta men survived an attempt to kill themselves Friday by cutting off their arms with a circular saw, according to Atlanta Police Major Lane Hagin.

The men managed to sever three of their arms about six inches above the wrist, he said.

The two men — ages 40 and 41 — left a suicide note with the manager of their Atlanta apartment building saying they were committing suicide because their business had failed and they were recently diagnosed with HIV, Hagin said.

After reading the note, the manager called police who found the two men in their apartment with “a lot of blood,” the major said.

Their names were not released. Police spokesman Steve Coleman said both were in stable condition at Grady Memorial Hospital late Friday and will undergo psychiatric evaluation.

No charges will be filed in the incident, police said.

MECHANIC Chris Donald loves his work — he has sex with CARS.

And he admitted last night: “Some men like boobs and bums, but I much prefer curvy bodywork.”Chris, 38, has a recognised psychological condition that makes him physically attracted to motors.

He has had sex with more than 30 different models in 20 years — plus two motorboats and a pal’s JETSKI.

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When dozens of chickens went missing from a remote West Bengal village, everyone blamed the neighborhood dogs.

But Ajit Ghosh, the owner of the missing chickens, eventually solved the puzzle when he caught his cow — a sacred animal for the Hindu family — gobbling up several of them at night.

“We were shocked to see our calf eating chickens alive,” Ghosh told Reuters by phone from Chandpur village, about 240 kilometers (150 miles) northwest of Kolkata.

The family decided to stand guard at night on Monday at the cow shed which also served as a hen coop, after 48 chickens went missing in a month.

“Instead of the dogs, we watched in horror as the calf, whom we had fondly named Lal, sneak to the coop and grab the little ones with the precision of a jungle cat,” Gour Ghosh, his brother, said.

Local television pictures showed the cow grabbing and eating a chicken in seconds and a vet confirmed the case.

“We think lack of vital minerals in the body is causing this behavior. We have taken a look and have asked doctors to look into the case immediately,” Mihir Satpathy, a district veterinary officer, said by phone.

“This strange behavior is possible in some exceptional cases,” Satpathy said.

Hundreds of villagers flocked to Chandpur on Wednesday to catch a glimpse of Lal, enjoying his bundle of green grass for a change.

“The local vets said the cow was probably suffering from a disease but others said Lal was a tiger in his previous birth,” Ajit added.